a poem for the past week

a poem for the past week
today there are a million moons on my back
tomorrow suns will swallow me

my mindless thoughts
have been drawing
circular paths back
to you,

                                                                                               this
is a place
my eyes
cannot find you
where my fingers fail
to catch your earthy light
between gerbera petals
and crinkled
dark chocolate wrappers.

                                                                                                this
is a home
i breathe as a stranger
i am wondering
(i am always wandering)
the way my toes cannot
grasp the ground
is a constant reminder
of your absence.

                                                                                                this
is a book
i cannot read
you
are a chapter
written in hieroglyphs
i cannot decipher
your name is in
every sentence
your spine is braille
and my fingertips refuse
to tell me what
these vertebrae
mean.

                                                                                                this
is a lens
filled
with millions of you.
over the years
i have taught
myself to learn
the way humans move
and the way eyes brim
and yet
and yet
i cannot figure out
the name for the backs
of our knees
and why your words
are a manifesto in my confusion
i cannot figure out
how the insides
of my eyelids
can be inked with you.

                                                                                              this
has been a time
that has leaked my riverbeds
dry and the soil
has hardened
cracked and barren and
thoughts of you have
flooded my void.

                                                                                               this
is a city
that mutes
your light.
i
am a lost tourist
and you
were the star
i was following
to point me westward.

–––––

this was in a circular zig-zag format thing at first but wordpress hates me so it deleted all my formatting ):

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